Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Thoughts While Watching Sailor Moon Crystal: Episode Two
Aw, episode one was ad-free for whatever reason. This has ads.
Second year of middle school in Japan, that's roughly 13-14, yes? Same grade as Utena.
Um... an IQ of 300 is impossible. Like, literally impossible.
Um. Wow. Ami is uncomfortably hot in this art style. *reminds self she's 14*
What. the. fuck. Oh, commercial. The way the characters jumped out of the compact, I was a little confused for a moment.
When Beryl refers to "our great ruler," does she mean herself or..? (Don't answer that.)
Maybe the Dark Kingdom just isn't very creative with titles, since they have four kings overseen by a queen. Maybe every single rank of nobility is called either "King," or "Queen."
Seeing a small cat refer to "The Evil" is giving me Sluggy Freelance flashbacks.
Wait, is Sailor Moon not the princess? I'm confused.
I... what? Where is Luna?
Haha, the nerd girl is a Virgo. And by "ha ha" I mean "fuck you."
Crystal Seminar is a villain plot, I'm guessing.
Aw, Ami took her glasses off. She looked way better with them, as most people do.
Oh my god, does Usagi have a thing for Ami? I could get behind this.
Usagi: Horrible cheater at video games. Also, Ami's lucky she picked that game and not the one next to it, if she'd beaten the high score on that one she'd be recruited to pilot a starfighter against evil aliens.
Here at the Crystal Seminar, we like to prepare young people for their inevitable future of sitting quietly in cubicles, typing away at computers and having their life essence drained to feed a dark power.
Okay, so who is the dark-haired girl hanging with Usagi and Naru? Is she a plant?
Japanese print ads are so busy by Western design standards. Newspapers, too.
No seriously, who wears a tux just walking around the street?
I... what? How did Usagi activate the brainwashing without brainwashing?
Wait, the video game just had a power-up for Usagi in it? I'd complain that this is video game logic, but... video game.
Does Ami's pen have powers too?
I like to think Usagi just THREW Luna at evil teacher-lady.
I really do feel like this transformation sequence is a huge improvement on the old one, but at the same time, I don't want to see all of it every episode. I hope we eventually get a shortened version or it changes up or something.
Ugh, super-whining again. Seriously, WTF show.
Damn, only the second episode and already Sailor Moon's getting her ass kicked. But I guess that's necessary so the new scout can save the day.
Once again, I'd like to point out that Luna gives her recruits EVEN LESS information about what's going on and what they're getting into than Kyubey does.
Oh, interesting, Usagi is Justice and Ami is Intelligence.
Bah, stop upstaging everyone, Tuxedo Jackass. You're even worse than Angel.
Moon Tiara brutal murder count: 2/2.
Ami and Usagi want each other SO BAD you guys. They're all blushes and smiles and handholding, I flat-out refuse to not ship them.
This ad for Crunchyroll Devices is reminding me of the thing they keep showing at movie theaters from MPAA about how movies deserve to be watched on the big screen, not the little. It's an anti-piracy ad, but it makes me laugh because it works just as well as anti-paying for movie rentals, DVD purchases, and streaming services.
Ah, image of our next recruit. I have a feeling she is going to be one of the characters most different from the Abridged Series version.
This was rather spectacularly better than the first episode, but I'm not going to actually LIKE this show until they get rid of at least one of super-whining or Tuxedo Fedora swooping in to save the day.